You ever wonder what your purpose in life is?
Why am I here?
All I ever seem to do is hurt the ones around me. Granted my past I can understand why but I don't understand why. I let past influence my future and that's not how it's suppose to work.... Is it? Did I even say that right? I confuse myself sometimes... Like I don't know who I am sometimes. I find reasons or people to blame my mistakes on when I should blame my mistakes in my self.
I need to re-evaluate.
Life is entirely too short to live this way and have no one you can call a true friend. Those are hard to come by...
I need to completely eliminate what I'm living on in the past and create my future.
Completely eliminate...
(Sempre Vive)
7 years is along time and you learn A LOT in that time. You think about A LOT in that time. Shit... You would think it was a actual marriage... Just without the beautiful memorable ceremony...
It's time I play catch up.
2012, from what I'm told, is "The Year".
But isn't every year.
I am trying to start this year off right... Making big changes and "Moves". But why do I feel like something is missing... Like somethings wrong...
I feel dark inside. Filled with so much anger, hate, rage, pain.
You make it out to be like your the victim when I'm the victim. I'm the one who fell first then had their heart ripped out. But I'm always the one who's wrong?
I've lost a lot of good friends over the years... And still am.
Because... Of me.
Even though I'm done...
It's hard for me to allow anyone else to get close to me... As much as I want to get close to them...
Why?
My deepest darkest secret.... My true pain and anger and hate and RAGE....
Well that'll have to come on a later date.
BABY IF YOU NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE OR APOLOGIZE TO SOME PEOPLE...YOU NEED TO EXPEDITE IT. THE TIME IS ALWAYS NOW. DO NOT WAIT AND GET LOST IN YOUR OWN SORROWS ABOUT YOUR OWN WRONGS. GET UP AND APOLOGIZE AND TRY TO RIGHT THEM AS MUCH AS YOU CAN.
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